If You Are Female Please Ignore The Following Entry

At least once a week, I tell myself. At least once a week.

Spring is here, and that means a few awesome things.

Baseball is here.
Fantasy Baseball is here.
The sun is out.
Better movies are coming out.

And the new season of Anime will be starting.

This last season was pretty stale by most standards. I watched maybe 3 shows regularly, but 2 of them were guilty pleasures. Nothing universally spectacular by any standards. Yeah stuff like Mushishi was good but it was pretty much eye-candy. No show really had that epic story that made it a must watch. Everything was too slice-of-lifey. Fate/Stay comes close but there's not nearly enough tension or conflict (all characters seem relatively unscathed so far) to even care about it. Shana was pretty good, but I felt the last bits dragged on while the middle parts were a lot better. Pretty much a dreadful season.

But there is hope in the new season! There's like 60 different shows of varying styles and subject manners that make for a Sizzler Salad bar of entertainment. Lots of sequels, lots of crazy mecha stuff, good studios doing newer stuff, plenty of adapted manga stuff. I'm kinda stoked, but its still a long way from a new Gundam or a Samurai Champloo or something like that. Gonzo needs to raise another few billion and put it into some insane project. A few worth watching:

School Rumble 2. More love-polygon angst that never ever takes itself seriously.

Ray the Animation. Read the manga and it wasn't half bad. Like a cross between BlackJack and Speed Grapher. Girl doctor with super eyes saves lives but also tries to hunt down the black market merchants that stole her original eyes as a child.

Black Lagoon. Pirate Bounty hunters with attitude and a lot of guns. Also first fight is against a zapatista-turned-housemaid.

Ergo Proxy. Not as good as GitS but what are you going to do.

Disgaea. I hope they get through the story in 3 episodes, then have 49 episodes of item world.

xxxholic. Nominated for the "least gay CLAMP series."

Also a few guilty pleasures that I'm sure will embarass me every second that I watch them.

Oh yeah one more thing. I'm tired of all these super cute slice of life shows that everyone loves. Aria, binchou-tan and whatever the fuck is being made. Stupid shows featuring little girls living their daily fantasy fairy lives, on par with shows like BRATZ or something. And they're just getting more and more popular. What gives, Japan? It's called a story, it has a beginning, middle and end, and has conflict. Please try and keep up.

Your One and Only Chance

Spring is here, and finally the good shows are coming. Ever since I finished in December, I've made a resolution to go to more shows, simply because I enjoy going to them and because now I have nothing really holding me back from seeing music and bands I like. It also gives the illusion that I have a life outside of videogames and tv. And I like that.

As far as upcoming shows, I'm going to Art Brut on Saturday. Due to things like pitchfork and such, there's bound to be a lot of buzz around this band. I've heard the single and a couple songs, but some of my friends seem to like them so why not give them a chance for about 10 bucks. I could do far worse. And there's gonna be a lot of people there so I can just get soused and make good conversation if the show sucks.

Sunday there's gonna be a show with a lot of Japanese bands, like seven of them. And it's for 10 bucks. I've only heard of one of them, but that's because they did the Naruto theme (Stance Punks). My friend assures me that the rest are of similar fame so if anything it'll be a wonderfully foreign event. There's bound to be absolutely no one at this show, who knows though.

Constantines in May, always wanted to see them. They supposedly have an amazing live show, at least from word-of-mouth. I've really enjoyed their albums so I'm sure I'm going to like their live show. Only one show has completely ruined my like for the artist, and that's a Del show I saw a year ago. Man, I can't even listen to Deltron anymore without seeing that lazy, half-dead zombie attempting to perform.

And finally the kicker, Built to Spill playing three shows in June. I will probably go to all three shows. It'll be the first time I will a) be 21+, b) be in town and c) not have shit like finals to think about for a BtS run. And yeah I know they're going to be playing the same setlist like 3 nights in a row, but I really just enjoy them that much.

I've been a BtS fan for about 12 years and really I haven't been dissapointed by them once. Ancient Melodies was a bit campy on record, but those songs rocked so hard live. A Built to Spill show is a guaranteed good night, so why not have three of those in a row? It's gonna be great.

When a band you really like breaks up suddenly (or tragically ends), you go through that period where you listen to every song they wrote and played, every song you can get your hands on. It dominates your listening palette for a good week or so, then at the end you always say "Man, I wish I could see them one more time." And its almost like a little part of you dies. So I figure if theres a band out there that can put a smile on my face every time, that I can enjoy every minute of it (yeah even the 20 minute jams), I need to experience it every time I can.

Oh yeah the new record is pretty good, but it's definitely more jammy and roots rocky than their prime material. Can't wait to hear them live.

Robot Roll Call

I am in love with robots. Transformers are the best toys. As a job, I play with motors and drives and wires all day, and its great. I love working with robots, and I love saying that I work with robots. It's been like a dream to me for so long.

I blame Capcom for my infatuation. The Mega Man series is probably my favorite classic game franchise. Mega Man 3 was the first great game I played for my NES way back in '89. I mean Zelda and SMB were fun games, but what am I going to play, the game where I'm an elf, an Italian dude, or a robot? I think that's an easy choice. Played it so much I could beat it with my feet. In 40 minutes.

I just got both collections (Mega Man and Mega Man X) and have been steadily playing through them. I actually played through the first collection like a year ago, but I just wanted to own it for my own sake. So much platforming hotness, even the supposedly horrid games (mega man 6, mega man x4 and beyond) are still great and playable and innately fun. But for shits and giggles, I'm going to rank my top 5.

1. Mega Man 3
2. Mega Man 2

Hard choice between 3 and 2 for best Mega Man. Nostalgia is the tie breaker, also for the fact that if you really look closely, going from 2 to 3 is a bigger leap than going from 1 to 2. What 2 does have going for it is definitely challenge (I am amazed when my friend gets through quick man's level without flash stopping), music (best in the entire series, but arguably not by much), and robot design (Gemini Man is the first sign of the horrible things to come).

But 3 had the Doc Robot series, where you fight through the ruins of 4 stages to beat 2 MM2 bosses in each level. That doubles the game. And personally I like the stage designs of MM3 better than 2. Heat Man's stage is kind of a drag, unless you like disappearing blocks for 80% of a level. Also Crash man's stage is a fun stage, but I don't know what it has to do with Crash Man at all (or even what its supposed to be).

Spark man's level, music, and design are probably my favorite memories of playing these games. Spike traps, crushing blocks, long drop into second part, ledge guarding shocking traps, boss with a couple tricks up his sleeve. Love it love it love it. Hard Man's stage is a bit of a lapse, and Gemini Man's stage is just Flash man redux. But designs of Magnet Man, Snake Man and Shadow Man all make up for that.

Plus, the inclusions of Proto Man and Rush create a real story that can be continued from game to game. Also, sliding is added. All useful tools that can make level design more fun.

3. Mega Man

Definitely the most challenging of the NES megaman games. Don't use that pause-unpause bullshit, be a man. Ridiculously challenging stages, sometimes due to controls, sometimes due to the Wily's castle being possibly the most infuriating sequence in mega man history. Character designs for the ages. Would be further refined come MM2 and 3.

4. Mega Man X

Mega man makes his debut as a super soldier in the future, given a whole new set of skills that made the game easier, but more interesting. Capcom is really on its game with this one, fantastic music, great level design, beautiful character designs. So great that MMX2 and MMX3 both barely improve on the formula established in X.

It's really awesome how beating a stage can affect another stage severely (storm eagle -> spark mandrill).

Its an easy game though, so we can't give it too much credit.

5. Mega Man 6

Now here is my incendiary pick. I reallllly like this one, and am pretty much unable to justify this. I love the robot designs in this one, it was like a world war of robots. Tomahawk man looked like a native american. Flame man looked like an Indian. Yamato man. Knight Man. It really kind of gave each robot power AND identity. Blizzard man and Centaur man deviate from the normal 2 legged robot.

The music in this game is fantastic too. Both Tomahawk man and Flame man's themes rock so hard. Especially Flame man. I love that stage.

Though the rush adaptor gimmick was a clever way of reinventing the series, it made the game a little too easy. Power Pack was also a dumb thing to include as its own power.

Kind of meh on the whole fake boss gimmicks. More impressed with the competent level designs that actually fit each robot master. A solid, fun game that is often overlooked by the casual megaman fan.

4 was alright, but felt a little half assed, like they quit after adding a mega buster. 5 is polished but stale. Beat is stupid, and the bosses were a bit dumbed down. 7 was a good attempt but kind of a calamity in level design and art direction. 8 just irks me somehow, I'd rather play Megaman and Bass. X2 is my least favorite X game, X3 is very innovative and fun, but just not memorable enough on the art side.

Ok back to work.

Some of My Best Friends are Black

Trite. Manipulating. Crass. Thoughtless. Exploitive. Meaningless.

Some of the words that describe my feelings about the movie Crash. A shallow case study of the "racism" in "America" written by a Canadian Scientologist, who has all the bravado of Spike Lee but no comprehension of the subject he pontificates about. Chappelle's Block Party is a better analysis of the mental state of racism than Crash. It fails on all levels.

I agree 99% with this guy: http://mattzollerseitz.blogspot.com/2006/02/anything-but-this.html

I was rooting for Munich but I know it didn't have a chance in hell to win. "Anything But Crash" would've done it for me. Brokeback Mountain should have won it, a talented, meticulously arranged piece with young actors performing at the peak of their game to deliver a story that doesn't skirt the issue but doesn't exploit it either.

Yay for Ang Lee. Finally winning an Oscar after being robbed for Crouching Tiger (oh Soderbergh, how far you have fallen), a movie that resuscitated the Martial Arts Epic almost singlehandedly. If you're developing a film about the delicate yet real world issues surrounding homosexuality, Ang Lee is the only name to trust.

Yay for 3-6 Mafia. Well, more like yay for appalling interpretive hooker dances.

Yay for Memoirs of a Geisha art design. Movie would've worked better as a silent slide show.

Nay to Joaquin Phoenix for looking like Johnny Cash circa coke and tractors.

Nay to stupid new age Crash song. Even if this song was in Double Indemnity it would be the worst Oscar song ever.

Nay to overbearing message of watching movies in theaters. Hey, why don't you beg us not to watch DVDs? That'll get the film industry back on track.

Movies I'm going to the theater for:

Silent Hill
Snakes on a Plane
V is for Vengeance

that is all.

Damn you Jack Nicholson. Damn you Academy. Damn it all to hell.

Quickies

Some quick entries about the things I've seen/listened to/played

Castlevania: Lament of Innocence

Picked it up the other day because I love Castlevania. Despite the panning, it is solid and fun. Who cares that it's almost exactly like Devil May Cry. Looks pretty, sounds pretty, love all the satan heads everywhere and sometimes i pause to look at the little art pictures they have on the wall. I kinda have a Rodin fetish but who doesn't. I wish there were more items, but i guess this is cool in the way that it keeps it basic and really more like an original Castlevania title, relying on wits and reflexes rather than uber weapons. Maybe I'll pick up the newer one if I find it in the used bin.

Mega Man X Collection

So great. Some of the sound effects are kinda fucked up but otherwise fantastic. I just beat Sting Chameleon. Want to unlock battle & chase asap.

Project Runway

So after the final 3 were picked, everyone was thinking that Daniel was going to win. But then the last episode happened and everything Daniel made was kinda shitty and boring, so now everyone thinks Santino's going to win. I still think Daniel has the energy and the ideas to win this competition, and his partner is pretty great so I think he takes the gold.

Radiata Stories

Played about 2 hours of it. I think it looks great, like a 3D Saga Frontier 2. Also, I think the voice acting is pretty fantastic. One thing that has been bugging me about DQVIII is that the voice acting seems so lifeless and the delivery seems so canned. Ganz's VA is really impressing me with his inflection and comedic timing, its probably better than 95% of the anime dubbers out there.

Game wise, it seems to be a bit perplexing. I just learned that by saving I had actually advanced the plot and missed out on 3 or 4 sidequests. That's annoying. Real annoying. Fighting is pretty simple, like a dumbed down Star Ocean 3 (which I need to restart). Small attack, big attack, some guy healing me all the time, easy wins.

I think this game is going to get good maybe in 2nd quarter.

Ergo Proxy

GitS comparison. Appleseed comparison. etc. etc.

But still stylish and OMG RADIOHEAD (did they really say "crazy robot" instead of paranoid android?). Goth looking girl with figure (natch) hunts down cognent cyborgs who run amok. Secret government experiment passes on consciousness to various robots. Looks like ninja. Attacks goth girl in her bathroom. Thom Yorke sings.

Probably keep watching this, at least its visually interesting.

Wedding Present - Bizarro

A-. Pretty frickin great. Box Elder is on the lower half of best songs top to bottom. Really wish I had seen them last week.

MMO-Damacy

I was talking to a friend about the last few tasks in We <3 Katamari and how grueling and tedious they seemed. One Million Roses is kinda crazy. Especially when there's nothing else but roses to pick up. But you know? It got me thinking.

What about a Katamari Damacy MMO game?

Premise is simple. Roll up stuff. Same physics engine. Tons of cousins to pick character designs from. Easy to update. Set goals in the form of rare presents that require size and luck to find.

So lets bullet out what can be done just for fucks sake.

- Pick a cousin, pick a name, pick a starting ball
- Picking up stuff == level building
- Quests: pick up 100 of X Y and Z
- Rewards: presents for finishing quests
- Develop a currency or a market or something so that instead of presents, you just get some sort of cash and then can trade that in for simple presents.
- Presents are for aesthetic value, not actual character bonuses. Like RO.

Ok so that's the basic game. You just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger. You could even separate the worlds via different servers. House server, yard server, town server, etc.

Now some more complex game features:

- The things you roll up add to the properties of your ball. A lot of rocks will make it easier for you to travel say through a heat area but will cost you in say a water area.
- Veggies and Fruits will make animals appear more often
- Toys lead to kids, Attractive Women lead to Men, etc.
- This will factor into the questing.
- Sometimes a quest will make your ball smaller, but that's ok because it'll give you something specific so that everyone will know you did that quest.

So the idea is that you try to make it to certain areas to farm stuff that will help you deal with other areas where quests you need to do are located. So the idea is that a balanced diet might be best, but other times you can specialize and just zoom through and get pretty big in a relatively short time.

OK, now lets make why its MMO:

- PvP happens all the time. At any time a guy can ram you and take off some of your stuff (not as much as in the ps2 games, but a setback none the less).
- Big guys don't always win. Its more about skill at the game than the size of the ball.
- So its good to travel in packs!
- Possibly include a PvP arena where ball sizes are regulated and there is no consequence of loss, only reward for winning.

What else makes it MMO?

- World constantly updated (more stuff added, new items to get).
- Packaged with a shape editor that lets you design your own items within the physics engine, like a really primitive version of CAD.
- Using this CAD program thing, you can make your own Cousin.
- Also using this CAD program, you can make items that can be put into the game.
- Using some sort of online submission to Namco, players enter their creations into a contest. Every week Namco picks like 5 items to add into the game. Winners get like a free month of service or some other in game goodie.

Make the game cheap. Like 15 bucks. 5 a month to play or something. Sell an optional usb joystick made for the game, like at 20 bucks.

What you have is a game that is self-sustaining, easy to maintain and update game with consistent means and motivations to participate, based on a popular franchise. How can you lose?